You are right. This is a blog on self-improvement, not psychology. I’ll give you a little background so you will be able to understand the context for this post.

I was working in a small group that was part of a larger one. Even before I entered this smaller group, I was constantly told on how certain individuals were not ‘good’, they were selfish and used you to achieve their goals and then discarded you. This intensified when I joined.

I was infected. Being one of the core members of the team, I had to interact with these people and my impressions started affecting my relationship, even though they never did anything wrong to me. I was defending others whom I thought were fellow victims. I went to the extent of blaming others for my non-growth. I was allowing other people’s experiences and impressions to cloud my own!

Years of reading self-improvement books did not give me the mental clarity to see through this. It needed a good friend of mine, who was tired of my ranting, to bring me to my senses. I cannot forget that moment, when he looked into my eyes and gently said, "Hey, Don’t make your friends’ enemies your own!" It magically cleansed me of the poison that was spreading through my mental system. I felt exhilarated and then understood what people meant when they talked of the "Aha" moment.

I then used this insight in other areas of my life and then discovered that I held to some beliefs strongly without any experience of my own, just because someone whom I trusted and respected said so. That was my weakness – anyone whom I respected I automatically assumed them to be right always. Thanks to my friend, I understood that each person builds his/her own equation with others and unlike mathematics, one person’s equation may not be the same as his or her own. Removing such negativity from your inner being will release negative energy that saps you from achieving the most out of your life.

Examine your perceptions of the people you really dislike or really like. Are they based on your own experiences and facts? You may sometimes be surprised at the answer. If you have any such experiences, we would be glad to hear it.

Live well.